10 things I hate about you
by Wolf Princess Jade
Summary: Inuyasha fells in love with a girl named Kagome and makes a deal for Naraku that he can date Kagome's sister. based on the movie
1. chapter 1

Two cookie-cutter-cute girls sing along in their car to a bit of popular fluff music.

A nineteen year old girl with dark brown short hair, brown eye, wearing a a Metallica shirt, with jeans , grey and black striped fingerless gloves and a shuriken necklace named Jade drive and sees the girls playing their favorite song. She glares at them and drove off to her school. Jade hurries toward the front door of what appears to be the Wayne Manor version of an ordinary high school. She approaches another cookie-cutter-cutie pasting an advert for prom on the wall, and tears it down in passing.

"Hey!" replied Cyan

In a office a teenager who has white long hair with dogs ears, Amber eyes and wears a red shirt with jeans named Inuyasha, sitting with Retsu Unhoana conservative spinster stereotype turned on its head. She's in the middle of composing some racy lines from her pulp romance-novel-in-progress on her laptop.

"So, Inuyasha Hanatori. Here you go. 9 schools in 10 years, my my... Army brat?" asked Unohana.

"Yeah. My dad's a." Before Inuyasha could say that his sentence.

"That's enough. I'm sure you won't find any different than your old school. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere." replied Unohana.

"Excuse me. Did you just say... Am I in the right office?" asked Inuyasha as Unohana pushes him out of her office

"Not anymore you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!" Replied Unohana.

"Okay. Thanks." replied Inuyasha as rises to leave and passes a nineteen year old boy with red eyes and long black hair and wore a black shirt and jeans, who's on his way in. Unohana looks down at her file and looks at him.

"Naraku Onigumo. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual." Replied Unohana as she gives him a disapproving glance as Naraku answers with a charming smile.

"Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, get the lights?" Asked Naraku.

"Oh very clever, Naraku. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? asked Unohana.

"I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst." answered Naraku.

"Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!" Replied Unohana as Naraku leaves, she goes back to writing her novel, adding the word "bratwurst" to the sentence she's working on.

In the hallways Inuyasha was walking as a teenager named Miroku came to him.

"Miroku Shiki. I'm supposed to show you around." Replied Miroku.

"Oh hi. Thank God! You know, normally they send down one of those audio/video geeks." Replied Inuyasha.

You know, I do. I know what you mean, yeah." replied Miroku as An audio/video geek pushing a cart full of film equipment rolls along side them.

"Hey Miroku, where should I put those slides?" Asked Uryu as Miroku brushes off the A/V Geek

"So, uh Inuyasha. Here's the breakdown:" replied Miroku as they begin to walk down the hallway.

"Over there you've got your basic beautiful people. Now listen. Unless they talk to you first, don't bother." Replied Miroku.

"But wait. Is that your rule or theirs?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Watch. Hey there." Replied Miroku.

"Geek." Called Aizen.

"See that?" Replied Miroku as Aizen and his friends glare as if offended while the two walk away exiting outside of the school. Groups of students stand around. Miroku and Inuyasha continue their walk.

"To the left we have the coffee kids." replied Miroku.

"Whoa!" Replied Sasori

"That was Costa Rican, butthead!" Added Deidara.

"Very edgy. Don't make any sudden moves around them. They step down and pass a table full of white boys with dreadlocks and prerequisite Jamaican berets. And these delusionals are the White Rasta. Uh, they're big Marley fans. They think they're black. Semi-political, but mostly." Replied Miroku

"Smoke a lot of weed?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah. They now approach a few kids dressed as urban cowboys. These guys." Replied Miroku

'Wait wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah but, the closest they've come to a cow is Macdonald's. Hah hah...Macdonalds!" Replied Miroku as they approach a group of studious-looking teens who are bent over textbooks at a table.

"These are your future" replied Miroku.

"We're all Ivy League accepted. Yuppie greed is back, my friend." Replied the group.

"Hey guys. How ya doin'?" Asked Miroku as one of them looks annoyed and mutters something about Madara, leader of the academic geeks.

"Why does he mutter his own name?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Maybe he just likes to speak in the third person. Yesterday I was their god." Answered Miroku.

"What happened?" Asked Inuyasha

"Madara Uchiha started a rumor that I...that I buy my Izods at an outlet mall." Answered Miroku

"So they kicked you out?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Hostile takeover. But don't worry. They'll pay. Now over here" Answered Miroku.

"Oh my god!" Replied Inuyasha as a girl with brown eyes and black long hair walking by and the dog demon is in deep smit.

"What group is she in?" Asked Inuyasha.

"The "don't even think about it" group. That's Kagome Higurashi. A sophomore." Replied Miroku.

"I burn! I pine! I perish!" Replied Inuyasha

"Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep. Pure." replied Miroku as Kagome walks with her friend, Kikyo.

"Yup, see, there's a difference between "like" and "love". Because I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack." Replied Kagome.

"But I love my Sketchers." Replied Kikyo.

"That's because you don't have a Prada backpack." Replied Kagome.

"Ohhh!" Replied Kikyo.

"Listen. Forget her. Incredibly uptight father, and it's a widely known fact that the Stratford sisters aren't allowed to date." Replied Miroku.

"Uh huh...yeah." replied Inuyasha

A room full of bored seniors doodle and stare off into space as their teacher named Spandam.

"Okay then. What did everyone think of The Sun Also Rises?" Asked Spandam as a girl named Winry Rockbell raises her hand and offers her appraisal." Replied Spandam

"I loved it. It was sooo romantic." Replied Winry.

"Romantic? Hemingway?! He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers." replied Jade as the other students roll their eyes and Bankotsu began to talk.

"As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends?" Asked Bankotsu as a few giggles. Jade fumes from her seat without looking back.

"Pipe down, Chachie." Replied Spandam.

"I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time. What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte or Simone de Beauvoir?" Asked Jade as Naraku suddenly steps into the classroom.

"What'd I miss?" asked Naraku.

"The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education." Answered Jade

"Good." Replied Naraku as he turns and leaves the classroom.

"Hey, hey!" Replied Spandam.

"Uh, Spandam. Is there any chance we could get Jade to take her Mydol before she comes to class?" Asked Bankotsu as more snickers from the class.

"Some day you're gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it. And Jade. I want to thank you for your point of view." Replied Spandam as Jade smiles to herself, her social indignation justified.

"I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle class suburban oppression. It must be tough. She deflates and becomes bitter again. But the next time you storm around the PTA crusading for better lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them why they can't buy a book written by a jerk!" Replied Spandam as Kisame and Tobi from earlier take up his cry of inequality.

"That's right mon!" Whined Kisame and Tobi.

"Don't even get me started on you two! Warned Spandam as they grumble apologetically and quickly shut up.

"Anything else?" Asked Jade.

"Yeah. Go to the office. You're pissing me off." Answered Spandam.

"What?l" called Jade

"Later!" Replied Spandam as Jade gets up from her desk and hits Bankotsu in the face with her books while leaving the classroom.

In the office Unohana sits in front of her laptop, composing her sleazy novel.

"Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape... ...excitable, stiff and... as Unohana gets frustrated.

"Isane." Called Unohana as Isane appears at the door.

"What's another word for...engorged?" Asked Unohana.

"I'll look it up." Replied Isane.

"Okay." Replied Unohana as Jade approaches the office and overhears her searching for the right word.

"swollen...turgid..." before Unohana could think of a sentence in her novel Jade spoke up.

"Tumescent?" Replied Jade.

"Perfect! So I hear you were terrorizing Mr Spandam's class. Again." Replied Unohana.

"Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action." Replied Jade.

"The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested." Replied Unohana.

"I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls." Replied Jade.

"The point is Jade... As Unohana suddenly makes the connection between Jade name and on her jade colored coffee mug. She finds it amusing and points to the mug.

"Jade! People perceive you as somewhat ..." as Jade interrupts Unohana.

"Tempestuous?" Replied Jade

"Heinous bitch" is the term used most often." Replied Unohana as Jade is unflattered.

"You might want to work on that. Thank you." Replied Unohana as Jade rises from her chair.

"As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member." Replied Jade as leaves the office.

"Quivering member... I like that." replied Unohana.

Outside of School Bankotsu and his friend Gatenmaru notices Kagome and Kikyo entering the courtyard and calls Bankotsu's attention to Kagome.

"Virgin alert." Replied Gatenmaru as he turns to look at Kagome while the girls pass by, and him.

"Looking good, ladies." Complaint Bankotsu.

"They're outta reach, even for you." replied Gatenmaru.

"No one's out of reach for me." Replied Bankotsu.

"You wanna put money on that?" Asked Gatenmaru

"Money I've got. This I'm going to do for fun." Answered Bankotsu as Inuyasha and Miroku have been watching Kagome and Kikyo notices Bankotsu's admiration.

"Who's that guy?" Asked Inuyasha.

"It's Bankotsu Kuramusa. He's a jerkoff. And a model." Answered Miroku.

"He's a model?" Asked Inuyasha.

"A model. Mostly regional stuff. But he's rumored to have a tube sock ad coming out." Answered Miroku.

"Really?" Replied Inuyasha.

"Really." Answered Miroku as they have a laugh at Bankotsu's expense and Inuyasha turns back to watching Kagome.

"Man, look at her." Replied Inuyasha.

"Is she always so...vapid?" Asked Miroku.

"How can you say that? She's totally..as Miroku interrupts the dog eared demon.

"Conceited?" Replied Miroku.

"What are you talking about? There's more to her than you think. I mean, look... look at the way she smiles. And look at her eyes, man. She's totally pure. I mean, you're missing what's there." Replied Inuyasha.

"No, Inuyasha. No. What's there is a snotty little Princess wearing a strategically planned sun dress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh." replied Miroku as he looks around and notices Bankotsu making his way toward the girls.

"Bankotsu, realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we'll spend the rest of our lives not having. Put her in the Spank Bank. Move on." Replied Miroku.

"No." Replied Inuyasha

"Move on." Replied Miroku.

"No! You're wrong about her. I mean, you know, uh, not about the spanking part. But the rest. You're wrong." Replied Inuyasha.

"Alright. I'm wrong? You wanna take a shot? Be my guest. She's actually looking for a French tutor." Added Miroku.

"Are you serious? That's perfect!" Replied Inuyasha.

"Do you speak French?" Asked Miroku

"Well no. But I will." Answered Inuyasha.

At the school parking lot Jade and her friend Sango walk towards her car. Joey pulls up beside them in his red sports car.

"Hey. Your little Metallica look is out, Jade. Didn't you read last month's Cosmo?" Asked Bankotsu.

"Run along." Answered Jade as she and Sango continue walking while Kagome and Kikyo are walking, embroiled in meaningful conversation.

"I know you can be overwhelmed. You can be underwhelmed. But can you ever just be whelmed?" Asked Kikyo.

"I think you can in Europe." Answered Kagome as Bankotsu pulls up alongside them.

"Hi ladies. Would you sweet young things like a ride?" Asked Bankotsu as they look at each other and immediately hop in, climbing over his upholstery.

"Careful on the leather." Replied Bankotsu as Jade and Sango watches them from inside Jade's clunker.

"That's a charming new development." Replied Sango.

"It's disgusting." Complainted Jade.

Meanwhile, Miroku has mounted an old motorcycle equipped with a plastic dork basket on the handles. He jets a bit out of control and kills the engine in front of Jade car. The girl shouts out the window.

"Remove head from sphincter, then drive!" Shouted Jade as Miroku regains control and pulls out of the way to where Inuyasha has been watching.

"You all right?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah, yeah. Just a minor encounter with the shrew. Your girlfriend's sister." Replied Miroku.

"What? That's Kagome's sister?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Mmm hmm. The mewling, rampalian wretch herself. Stay cool, bro." Replied Miroku as he jets off once again, risks another near collision, and ends up flying right off the road and sliding halfway down a grassy hill. Recovering his composure, Miroku realizes half the school is watching from the top of the hill. He raises his hands in the air and gives a victory yell, drawing cheers from the crowd.


	2. chapter 2

At Jade's home, Jade and Kagome's father Markus enters through the front door rifling through the mail while Jade was reading her book Stephen king's It on the couch.

"Hello Jade. Make anyone cry today?" Asked Markus.

"Sadly, no. But it's only four-thirty." answered Jade as Markus smiles proudly as Kagome walks in and kisses him on the cheek.

"Hi Daddy." Replied Kagome.

"Hello, precious." Replied Markus.

"And where've you been?" asked Jade as she was concern that her sister went to while Kagome gives her a sour look.

"Nowhere." Answered Kagome as their father, who hasn't raised his eyes from the mail, is inspecting a letter.

"What's this? It says Himiko University?" Asked Markus as Jade snatches it away from him and runs across the room in a flurry of excitement, tearing it open and reading the contents silently.

"I got in! I got in!" Replied Jade.

"Uh, honey that's great. But isn't Himiko University on the other side of the country?" Asked Markus.

"Thus the basis of its appeal." Answered Jade.

"Yeah. I thought we decided you were gonna stay here and go to U Dub like me. Be a husky. He makes some inspiring growling noises." Replied Markus.

"No, you decided." Sassed Jade.

"Oh okay. So you just pick up and leave, is that it?" Argued Markus.

"Let's hope so." Agreed Kagome as Jade gives her sister a spiteful look then smiles sweetly.

"Ask Kagome who drove her home." Replied Jade as Markus looks at his two daughters and spoke.

"Jade, don't change the...drove? Who drove you home?" Asked Markus as Kagome glares at her older sister then turns to her father.

"Now don't get upset, daddy, but there's this boy." Before Kagome finish her conversation with her Father as Jade interrupts.

"Who's a flaming imbecile?" Asked Jade.

"Please..." Replied Markus as he was trying to calm his daughters.

"And I think he might ask me!" Argued Kagome.

"Please. I think I know what he's going to ask you. And I think I know the answer: No. It's always no. What are the house rules? #1: no dating till you graduate. #2: no dating till you graduate. That's it." Replied Markus.

"Daddy, that's so unfair." Whined Kagome.

"Alright. You wanna know what's unfair? This is for you too. This morning I delivered a set of twins to a 15 year old girl. Do you know what she said to me?" Asked Markus

"I'm a crack-whore who should have made my sleazy boyfriend wear a condom?" Answered Kagome.

"Close. But no. She said: I should have listened to my father." Replied Markus.

"She did not." Argued Kagome.

"Well, that's what she would've said if she wasn't so doped up." Replied Markus.

"Can we focus on me for a second please? I am the only girl in school who's not dating." Replied Kagome.

"Oh no you're not. Your sister doesn't date." Replied Markus.

"And I don't intend to." Complaint Jade.

"And why is that again?" Replied Markus.

"Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?" Asked Jade as Kagome got mad at her older sister that Jade doesn't want to date a boy.

"Where did you come from? Planet Loser?" Asked Kagome.

"As opposed to planet "look at me! look at me!" Replied Jade.

"Okay, here's how we solve this one. Old rule out. New rule: Kagome can date." Replied Markus as Kagome lights up and Jade looks upset.

"When she does." Continued Markus as he points at Jade.

"But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?" Asked Kagome.

"Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that. And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father who's daughters aren't out being impregnated." Answered Markus as his phone rang and picks up the phone.

"We'll talk about Himiko University later." Replied Markus.

"Fine." Replied Jade.

"Wait! Daddy!" Replied Kagome.

"I gotta go." Replied Markus as he leaves.

"Can't you find a retard to take you to the movies so I can have just one date?" Argued Kagome.

"Well I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Bankotsu "eat me. Kuramusa.' Argued Jade.

"You suck." Replied Kagome.

"You suck." Replied Jade.

In the tutoring room Inuyasha sits at a table prepping for the French lesson he has scheduled with Kagome. Kagome arrives and sat down across from him.

"Can we make this quick? Roxanne, Korrine and Andrew Barrett are having an incredibly horrendous public break- up on the quad. Again." Replied Kagome.

"Oh, yeah, um, okay. I thought we'd start with pronunciation, if that's alright with you." Replied Inuyasha.

"Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part. Please." Begged Kagome.

"Well, there is an alternative. French food. We could eat some together. Saturday night?" Asked Inuyasha.

"You're asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?" Asked Kagome.

"Inuyasha. Listen. I know that your dad doesn't let you date. But I thought that if it was for French class it." Replied Inuyasha.

"Oh, wait a minute. Inuyasha.My dad just came up with a new rule. I can date when my sister does." Replied Kagome.

"You're kidding! Well let me ask you, do you like sailing? 'Cause I read about this place that rents out boats." Replied Inuyasha.

"A beaucoup problemo, Inuyasha. In case you haven't heard, my sister's a particularly hideous breed of loser." Replied Kagome.

"Yeah yeah. I noticed she's a little anti-social. Why is that?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Unsolved mystery. She used to be really popular, but she got sick of it. Or something. There is a bet as to why, but I'm pretty sure she's just incapable of human interaction. Plus, she's a bitch." Answered Kagome.

"Well yeah, but I'm sure, you know, that there's lots of guys who wouldn't mind going out with a...difficult woman. I mean, you know, people jump out of airplanes, ski off cliffs. It would be like extreme dating." Replied Inuyasha.

"You think you could find someone that extreme?" Asked Kagome.

"Yeah sure, why not?" Replied Inuyasha as Kagome reaches out and touches his arm.

"Would you do that, for me?" Asked Kagome.

"Oh yes! I mean, you know, I could look into it." Answered Inuyasha.

Miroku leads Inuyasha down a set of concrete steps to a secret gathering of dating candidates for Jade.

"Now, I have gathered a group of guys. Couldn't be more perfect. Kamiki's finest." Replied Miroku as they enter a dank room, wherein waits a very motly crew of the most unlikely specimens one would expect. While Inuyasha shoots Miroku an unsatsfied grimace.

"Hi. How ya doin'? Would any of you be interested in dating Jade Higurashi?" Asked Miroku as a truncated interview process, where each candidate in turn sits in the interview chair and gives his response. Ichigo Kurosaki laughs histerically, and Hiei Jagenshi stares blankly.

"Ho, I've never been that ripped." Replied Roy Mustang.

"Maybe if we were the last 2 people alive, and there were no sheep... Are there sheep?" Asked Sasuke as Ussop screamed in horror that he was going to date Jade.

Several dissection charts of frog anatomy hang on the walls. The Biology class is busy dissecting frogs. Miroku and Inuyasha, naturally, are lab partners. Naraku and his punk rock friend, Koga, are hacking away at their own specimen behind them.

"Did I, or did I not, tell you it was pointless? No one will go out with her." replied Miroku as Naraku pulls out a butterfly knife and impales his frog violently with it and Inuyasha has noticed the display.

"Hey, what about him?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Him?" Replied Miroku as he turns and sees Naraku. Miroku turned back to his friend.

"No no. Don't look at him, okay? He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just did a year in San Quentin." Replied Miroku.

"Yeah, well, then at least he's horny." replied Inuyasha

"I'm serious, man, he's whacked. He sold his own liver on the black market for a new set of speakers." Replied Miroku as Naraku took out a cigarette, but just as he lights it on the Bunsen burner, Koga seizes it and snuffs it out. Frustrated, Naraku plays with the Bunsen burner instead.

"He's our guy." Replied Inuyasha as Naraku notices them watching him and they quickly turn away.

Boys and a few stray girls nail their pieces of wood in the woodshop. Inuyasha and Miroku enters in while the dog eared demon approaches spider demon.

"Hi. How ya doin'? Listen, I." Inuyasha was talking but in reponse, Naraku brandishes a loud power tool and drills a hole in the middle of Inuyasha's beloved French book.

"Okay... later then." Replied Inuyasha as he walks away.

In the school hallway, Miroku is staring through the new window in Inuyasha's French book.

"How do we get him to date Jade?" Asked Miroku

"I don't know. I mean, uh, we could pay him. But we don't have any money." Answered Inuyasha.

"Yeah, well, what we need is a backer." Replied Miroku.

"What's that?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Someone with money who's stupid." Answered Miroku as they both look pensive.

At the cafeteria Bankotsu and his friends sit at a table while Bankotsu draws a pair of boobs on a cafeteria tray with a magic marker.

"Oh yeah!" Replied Bankotsu as Miroku walks up and sits at the table, casual as can be.

"Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up? 'Cause you don't see many." Replied Miroku as Gatenmaru grabs his wrist as he reaches for the Roll-Up.

Oh, okay. Yeah, Alright." Replied Miroku as his wrist is released as Miroku withdraws his hand.

"Are you lost?" Asked Bankotsu.

"No, actually, I just came by to chat." Answered Miroku.

"We don't chat." Replied Bankotsu.

"Well, actually, I thought that I'd run an idea by you. Just to see if you're interested." Replied Miroku.

"I'm not." Replied Bankotsu.

"Well, hear me out. Now." Replied Miroku as Bankotsu grabs him by the side of the head and proceeds to draw a penis on his cheek with the magic marker. While Miroku suffers the indignity and speaks undaunted.

"You want Kagome, right? But she can't go out with you because her sister is this insane head case and no one will go out with her, right?" Asked Miroku.

"Does this conversation have a purpose?" Replied Bankotsu.

"What I think you need to do is, you need to hire a guy who'll go out with her. Someone who doesn't scare so easy." Replied Miroku as he points to Naraku, who sits with Koga. Naraku spits a stone from a piece of fruit at his tray.

"That guy? I heard he ate a live duck once." Replied Bankotsu.

"Everything but the beak and the feet. Clearly he's a solid investment." Replied Miroku as Bankotsu turns to look at him.

"What's in it for you?" Asked Bankotsu.

"Hey. I'm walkin' down the hall and say hello to you. You say hello to me." Replied Miroku.

"Yeah yeah. I get it. You're cool by association. I'll think about it." Replied Bankotsu as Miroku looks pleased and bobs his head as if grooving to music.

"We're done now." Replied Bankotsu.

"Yeah." Replied Miroku as he gets up and walks to the back of the room where Inuyasha waits anxiously.

"What are you doing getting him involved?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Relax now, relax. We let him pretend he's calling the shots. While he's setting things up, you have time with Kagome." Answered Miroku.

"That is a good idea." Complaint Inuyasha as he leaves.

"I have a dick on my face." Replied Miroku as he follows Inuyasha.

Outside of the stadium Madara Uchiha has gathered his club of future yuppies for a golf lesson.

"Now remember guys. Grip it, and rip it." Replied Madara as he hits the golf ball down into the stadium field, where it is collected by a kid named Natsunholding a basket of balls. The field is filled with students exercising. The women's soccer team is practicing. Bankotsu makes his way toward Naraku, who is sitting with Koga and smoking.

"Hey, how ya doin'?" Asked Bankotsu as Naraku ignores him completely.

"I had some great duck last night." Replied Bankotsu.

"Do I know you?" asked Naraku.

"See that girl?" Replied Bankotsu as Naraku turns to see Jade playing soccer on the field.

"Yeah." Replied Naraku.

"That's Jade Higurashi. I want you to go out with her." Replied Bankotsu

"Yeah sure, Sparky." Replied Naraku as he and Koga laugh at the idea.

"Look. I can't take out her sister until Jade starts dating. You see, their dad's whacked out. He's got this rule where the girls." Replied Bankotsu.

"That's a touching story. It really is. Not my problem." replied Naraku.

"Would you be willing to make it your problem if I provide generous compensation?" Replied Bankotsu.

"You're going to pay me to take out some chick?" Asked Naraku.

"Mmm hmm." Answered Bankotsu.

"How much?" Asked Naraku.

"Twenty bucks." Answered Bankotsu as Naraku turns to have another look at Jade. She violently body checks another girl named Loly Aiverrine and knocks her down on the grass.

"Fine. 30." Replied Bankotsu.

"Well let's think about this. We go to the movies. That's, uh, 15 bucks. We get popcorn. That's, uh, 53. And, uh, she'll want Raisonettes, right? So, uh, we're lookin' at 75 bucks." Replied Naraku.

"This ain't a negotiation. Take it or leave it, trailer park." Argued Bankotsu.

"50 bucks and we've got a deal, Fabio." Replied Naraku as Bankotsu hands him 50 dollars.

Jade and the rest of the team complete their practice session. Rayleigh, the coach, calls the girls in over his megaphone.

"Great practice, everybody." Complaint Rayleigh as Naraku burns out a cigarette and approaches Jade.

"Hey there, girlie. How ya doin'?" asked Naraku.

"Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself?" answered Jade.

"Now there's a way to get a guy's attention, huh?" Replied Naraku as Jade gets up from the bleachers.

"My mission in life. But obviously I've struck your fancy. So, you see, it worked. The world makes sense again." Replied Jade as she walks away and Naraku follows her.

"Pick you up Friday, then." Replied Naraku.

"Oh, right. Friday. Uh huh." Replied Jade.

"The night I take you to places you've never been before." Replied Naraku.

"Like where? The 7-Eleven on Broadway? Do you even know my name, screwboy?"Asked Jade.

"I know a lot more than you think." answered Naraku.

"Doubtful. Very doubtful." replied Jade as she walks away quickly, leaving him standing alone. While Inuyasha and Miroku watch.

"We are screwed." Replied Inuyasha.

"Hey, no, hey. I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat." Replied Miroku.

"We are screwed!" Replied Inuyasha.

"There you go." Replied Miroku as they watch, the coach gets hit with a golf ball and falls to the ground. Madara and his group sees the scene.

"Run Madara!" shouted Grimmjow as Madara is motionless, a super-cheese smile glued to his face.

At night in Jade's home, Jade washes her face at the sink. Bianca enters behind her.

"Have you ever considered a new look? I mean, seriously, you could have some definite potential buried under all this hostility." Replied Kagome.

"I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed." Replied Jade.

"Why don't you try being nice? People wouldn't know what to think." Replied Kagome.

"You forget. I don't care what people think." Replied Jade.

"Yes you do." Replied Kagome.

"No I don't. You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know." Replied Jade.

"I happen to like being adored, thank you." Replied Kagome.

"Where'd you get the pearls?" Asked Jade.

"They're mom's." Answered Kagome.

"And you've been what? Hiding them for 3 years?" Asked Jade.

"No. Daddy found them in a drawer last week" Answered Kagome.

"So you're just gonna start wearing them now?" Asked Jade

"It's not like she's coming back to claim them. And besides, they look good on me." Answered Kagome.

"Trust me. They don't." Replied Jade as she went to her bedroom to get some sleep.


	3. chapter 3

Jade emerges from a Hastings store. She brought herself, one of her favorite animes, CDs of Metallica, Evanescence, Killswitch Engage, Cradle of Filth and Three days Grace. Naraku is waiting for her, leaning casually against her front fender.

"Nice ride. Vintage fenders." Complaint Naraku.

"Are you following me?" Asked Jade.

"I was in the laundromat. I saw your car. I came over to say hi." Answered Naraku.

"Hi." Replied Jade as she moves to open the door, but he slides over and blocks her way.

"Not a big talker, huh?" Asked Naraku.

"Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy." Answered Jade as Naraku seems genuinely intrigued by her resistance.

"You're not afraid of me, are you?" Asked Naraku.

"Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?" Replied Jade.

"Well, most people are." Answered Naraku.

"Well, I'm not." Replied Jade.

"Well, maybe you're not afraid of me. But I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?" Replied Naraku as he gives the girl a wink.

"Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, Oh baby, oh baby." Replied Jade as she opens the door and forces him out of the way. She starts to pull out and is blocked by Bankotsu's sports car, which pulls up perpendicular to her rear and parks as Bankotsu emerges and heads to the store.

"What is it? Asshole day? Hey! Do you mind?" Asked Jade.

"Not at all." Answered Bankotsu as he continues on into the store. Jade stares at him in disbelief and then backs up fast. Her vintage fenders crash into the door of Joey's precious ego-mobile. While Naraku watches with a delighted grin and chuckles a bit while Bankotsu races back to his car.

"You bitch! Screamed Bankotsu as Jade watches with an innocent look of surprise.

"Whoops." Replied Jade.

At Jade's home Markus talks to his elder daughter while Jade was reading her book and sits on the couch.

"My insurance does not cover PMS." Replied Markus.

"Well, then tell them I had a seizure." Replied Jade.

"Is this about Himiko University? Are you punishing me because I want you to stay close to home?" Asked Markus.

"Aren't you punishing me because mom left?" Answered Jade.

"You think you could leave her out of this?" Argued Markus.

"Then stop making my decisions for me." Argued Jade as she closes her book and gets off the couch.

"I'm your father. That's my right." Replied Markus.

"So what I want doesn't matter?" Asked Jade.

"You're nineteen. You don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want until you're forty-five. And if you get it, you'll be too old to use it." answered Markus.

"I want to go to Himiko University! I want you to trust me to make my own choices. And I want you to stop trying to control my life just because you can't control yours!" Argued Jade.

"Oh yeah? Well you know what I want!" Argued Markus as his phone rang.

"We'll continue this later." Replied Markus.

"Can't wait." Replied Jade she heads out of the living room but blocked by her younger sister.

"Did you just maim Bankotsu's car?" Asked Kagome.

"Yeah. Looks like you're gonna have to take the bus." Answered Jade.

"Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?"

Asked Kagome as Jade walks away and heads upstairs to her bedroom.

Naraku shuts his locker revealing to Bankotsu who is really pissed off.

"When I shell out fifty, I expect results." Replied Bankotsu.

"Yeah, I'm on it." Replied Naraku.

"Watching the bitch violate my car doesn't count as a date. If you don't get any, I don't get any. Let's go get some." Replied Bankotsu as he starts to walk off.

"I just upped my price." Replied Naraku as Bankotsu turns around.

"What?" Replied Bankotsu

"A hundred bucks a date. In advance." Replied Naraku.

"Forget it." Replied Bankotsu.

"Forget her sister, then." Replied Naraku as Bankotsu thinks for a frustrated moment, then takes another fifty out of his wallet.

"You better hope you're as smooth as you think you are, Onigumo." Replied Bankotsu as Naraku takes the money with a smile.

Miroku and Inuyasha enter the shopclass. Koga brushes by them.

"Go." Replied Inuyasha.

"No, you go." Replied Miroku.

"I went before." Replied Inuyasha as he makes his way to where Naraku is working at the buffer.

"We know what you're trying to do, with Jade Higurashi." Replied Inuyasha.

"Is that right? And what do you plan to do about it?" Asked Naraku.

"Help you out." Answered Inuyasha.

"Why's that?" Asked Naraku.

"The situation is, my man Inuyasha here has a major jones for Kagome Higurashi." Answered Miroku.

"What is it with this chick? She have beer flavored nipples?" Asked Naraku.

"Hey!" Replied Inuyasha.

"I think I speak correctly when I say that Cameron's love is pure. Purer than say Bankotsu Kuramusa." Answered Miroku.

"Look. I'm in on this for the cash. Bankotsu can plow whoever he wants." Replied Naraku.

"Okay. There will be no plowing!" Replied Inuyasha.

"Naraku, uh. Let me explain something to you here. We set this whole thing up so Inuyasha can get the girl. Cameron. Bankotsu's just a pawn." Replied Miroku.

"So you two are gonna help me tame the wild beast?" Asked Naraku.

"We'll do some research. We'll find out what she likes. We are your guys." Answered Miroku.

"And he means that in a strictly non- prison-movie type of way." Added Inuyasha.

"Let's start here. Now, Friday night. Madara Uchiha is having a party. It's the perfect opportunity." Replied Miroku.

"Opportunity for what?" Asked Naraku.

"For you to take out Jade." Answered Miroku.

"I'll think about it." Replied Naraku as he walks away, leaving Miroku and Inuyasha grinning at each other.

"And for a little payback. This is gonna be some party." Replied Miroku as he holds a party invitation. It advertises a "wine and cheese" party. Transition. The words "wine and cheese" were replaced by "free beer". "Don't call" and "just show up" are printed at the bottom next to Madara's address in Crossover city.

"Let's do this." Replied Miroku as they dumped a pile of fliers down the school stairwell. Students hands reach out and grab them as they fall. Meanwhile Bankotsu stands at his open locker with Kagome.

"Okay now, this is important. Which do you like better?" Asked Bankotsu as he holds up two identical glamour model photos. In one, he's wearing a white shirt. In the other, he's in a black shirt.

"Um, I think I like the white shirt better." Answered Kagome as Bankotsu nods thoughtfully.

"Yeah. It's more." Replied Bankotsu.

"Pensive?" Answered Kagome.

"Damn. I was going for thoughtful. So, you going to Madara Uchiha's thing on Friday night?" Asked Bankotsu.

"Yeah. I might." Answered Kagome as Bankotsu gives her his best flirtatious smile

"Good, 'cause, you know, I'm not gonna bother if you won't be there." Replied Bankotsu as the class bell rings.

"See you there." Replied Bankotsu.

"Okay." Replied Kagome.

"Bye." Replied Bankotsu as Kagome walks away. He turns to a mirror hanging in his locker and winks at himself, then unhappily adjusts an out-of-place hair.

Kagome and Inuyasha are on a nice walk together they're were under the bridge.

"So have you heard about Madara Uchiha's party?" Asked Inuyasha.

"Yes. And I really, really, really wanna go, but I can't. Not unless my sister goes." Answered Kagome.

"Yeah I know. I'm workin' on that. But so far she's not goin' for my guy. She's not a...

"KD Lang fan? No. I found a picture of Itachi Uchiha in her drawer once, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies." Replied Kagome.

"Okay. So that's the kind of guy she likes? Pretty guys?" Asked Inuyasha.

"I don't know. All I've ever heard her say is that she'd die before dating a guy that smokes." Answered Kagome.

"Okay. All right. What else?" Asked Inuyasha.

"You're asking me to investigate the inner workings of my sister's twisted mind? I don't think so." Answered Kagome.

"Well nothing else has worked. I mean, we need to go behind enemy lines here." Replied Inuyasha.

Inuyasha follows Kagome to her house and to her sister's bedroom, Kagome rifles through Jade's drawers while Inuyasha watches with notable interest.

"Okay, here we go." Replied Kagome as she names off pertinent discoveries, and hands them to Inuyasha.

"Class schedule, reading list, date book, coffee tickets, um, concert tickets. Ah ha! Black panties!" Replied Kagome as she hands the dog Hanyo a pair of black underwear.

"What does that tell us?" Asked Inuyasha.

"She wants to have sex some day, that's what." Answered Kagome.

"She could just like the color." Replied Inuyasha.

"You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it." Replied Kagome.

"Oh. So, uh, can I see your room?" Asked Inuyasha.

"No. A girl's room is very personal." Answered Kagome.

"Oh." Replied Inuyasha as he and Kagome exits out of Jade's bedroom.


End file.
